Zambia

One of the things that keeps me going throughout the day is my trip to Zambia. When I feel like drawing myself in the endless piles and piles of papers that need filing I think about December, about me sitting on that plane, and knowing that when I get off Ill be in Africa! I am ECSTATIC! For the past few weeks it has been back and forth yes no yes no, do i really want to do this? I could just go home? I'm nervous. What if the kids don't like me? I kept asking for some type of sign praying that something would help me decide. And everyday something happened that told me that I HAVE to do this. For example a woman who works with me actually used to live there. I told her about my "iffiness" about my trip and she raved about her time there ! and even invited me over next week to show me pictures and tell me stories. Little things like that have been happening everyday, someone knows someone whose been there or something like that....

I will continue this post later, maybe with updates on what my parents think about this. Ive got to run!

Sept 27

Today I heard the receptionist whispering about my less than perfect performance. She compared me to the new intern who's impeccable filing seems to blow her away. While standing in the adjacent office listening to this woman whisper feverishly about the two articles that I mis-filed and about how she doesn't understand my color coordinated system blah blah blah, my face flushed lava red with fury and frustration, burning up, steaming pools rushed to my eyes and I wanted more than ever to erupt in her face. Then suddenly like a pure breeze blowing through the toxic gases of a volcano, I had a thought that made me laugh. A giggle the turned into a full on holler. The thought was something like, thank god Im not good at filing because unlike her I wont be doing this for the rest of my life. Thinking back maybe that thought was a bit cruel... but it did something for me. I don't know really how to explain it, but it made me realize how much I DONT CARE about files, about AP and SAT scores, about top schools. Right now the work that Im doing is like forcing an artist to major in math, or like asking Ronald Dahl to stop writing and start studying biology, Im just not wired to to this type of work, and no matter how much the receptionist doesn't like it, lord knows im doing the BEST that I can... so she can just get over it :)

Broke

My face when I went up to the cash register ready to pay for my little 20 JD worth of necessary items, handed the guy my debit card, and BBBBEEEEEEPPPPPPPP DECLINED.... Ugh my life.

Work

Im pretty sure I've never been this exhausted in my life, this even tops working for the US Senate. I think its the stress of 50 million people pulling me in a million different ways, telling me about this mandatory meeting and that one, contradicting what my boss says others contradicting what my other boss says, thats hard ! Today I literally fell asleep in the middle of a meeting ran back to my job then was slightly reprimanded for attending that mandatory meeting then they continued to work me overtime. I keep trying to figure out how this is going to help me in the future, maybe then I'd have somewhat of a push to keep me going, But right now... ugh I don't know how to make it.

"Its So Salty !"

The Dead Sea was pretty amazing. Indeed you float like a life raft and the salt is so concentrated that you can see it swirling around your forearms when the sunlight hits the water ! The Academy paid for our day which was amazing since our Dead Sea experience took place at the 5 star Marriott Hotel ! I would recommend that place for anyone looking for a nice relaxing day in Jordan.

I had my first taste of actual work today and it felt good having that responsibility again. It also felt good having that sense of independence that I feel has been lacking since I've been here, since I've been spending most of my time with other Junior Fellows.
Everything is copacetic right now.

So.. Jordan !

I got here on Sunday! It was a nice empty flight so I was able to use the seat next to me and make a somewhat comfortable bed. I guess I should have updated my blog the first second that I got here, but honestly my first impressions weren't the best, but now things are slowly getting better. My living accommodations are amazing, and found out that I'll be working in University Counseling which is one of the best offices on campus.

Today was a good day. Just orientations and I got to meet the other new staff members. Their backgrounds and qualifications are AMAZING I feel so blessed to be working amidst such greatness ! Oh also ! I saw the King today!

until next time !