Good Bye Egypt

So Im home now.. or in my "house" I should say and much to my surprise I'm wishing that I was back in Egypt. I am miserable. point blank. I have spent my days on the verge of tears, feeling trapped in suburbia , caged by the branches of these tree lined streets and fancy shrubbery, and wondering what ever happened to that quixotic dream of "home" that I made up in my head while I was in Egypt. I have yet to see any of my friends, yet to visit my second home NY, and have yet to touch a stage. Even more at the moment my future in Jordan is just a fantasy. I havn't raised a single cent for the plane ticket. All the letters and emails that I sent out before I left were unanswered. Having this looming over my head, knowing that every day the price of that plane ticket continues to increase is like walking around with burlap sacks filled with dumbbells tied to my shoulders. My parents agreed to pay a part of the plane ticket if I stayed around the house and looked after my brother, I know its a pretty sweet deal, but often times I wonder if my happiness, if this slight breech of my freedom, is worth the price. Maybe I will just have to take out a loan? Will I have to contact the father that I haven't spoken to in eons? Will I not go? If that then what...

Maybe Egypt wasn't perfect, maybe I was getting fed of with the gender roles and all, but every day, every single day it was brand new in someway and everyday I knew that I would wake up to an amazing group of classmates who would love me and support me through all of my troubles. There was a woman living underneath our building who would hug me and attempt to speak broken English and the man at the little store who would always give me a discount and the woman on the train that would help me in just before the door slammed on me and all of the random people who loved me without even knowing my name. I miss that ...

Egypt Coming to a Close

As my bout with Egypt is quickly coming to a close I have no idea how to sum it all up. With all of these issues looming over my head, from where this money is coming from to pay for my flight to Jordan to do I even really want to go to Jordan, I havent had the time to sit down and reflect over my time here. I miss my friends and family so much. I have been traveling on my own since I was 10 years old and have never experienced home sickness to this degree. I think about all the memories I'm missing all the shows that I could be doing and wonder if this was all worth it. Being a woman in a Muslim male dominated society is tough, especially for me, a super liberal stubborn feminist, the sense of superiority that seems to radiate from every single man on every single street corner and micro bus makes me sick to my stomach. Maybe this aspect of Egyptian society is the cause of my home sickness... We'll Ive got to run...